My (Vegan) Health Story: Part 2
Hi friends, it has been a short while. Two years ago I shared a post on my lengthy health story (view here) and it seemed to strike a helpful chord with many of you. My heart aches for those of you suffering from undiagnosed, messy, chronic health issues too. I thought to check back in and share what has been happening since. I enjoy being transparent with you and writing my story is very therapeutic in a way, so thank you for letting me indulge you with my words.
If you haven’t read my initial post, it might be helpful to catch up first here. I had a pretty big intro there that I will pretend is here as well and just dive in to the details. Healing can be complicated and bumpy. If you’re in it too, take heart, you’re not alone and you haven’t been given more than you can handle. Even if it doesn’t feel this way most of the time, it is true — seek strength and hold on to faith.
Disclaimer: I am not a certified health professional in any way, and what I am sharing below is not to be taken as medical advice. If you are suffering from health issues, I recommend seeking out a doctor (preferably a natural one) that can help draft a specific treatment plan for your unique situation.
September 2018 - June 2019
I last left you feeling hopeful that my thyroid medication and other healing tactics were having success. Unfortunately, it came tumbling down during the fall. I had been experiencing surges of anxiety after every tweak of the thyroid medication we did over the summer, and when the fall began those tweaks lead to deep depressions. We did more tests, a stool one this time, treated a few infections and tried to treat my lack of hormones as well (low progesterone, low estrogen, low DHEA, low cholesterol, just low). In the midst of spending my days lethargic, depressed, crying, lacking in motivation and energy, and eating constantly, that December I had my first period in 6 years. I cried I was so happy!
I was confused as to how something so wonderful (and signifying healing, to me) could have happened in the midst of so much pain and suffering. I clearly wasn’t doing okay, but something was healing.
My depression was too bad to handle that by January I asked my naturopath if I could go off of the thyroid medication. She said okay and I thought I was feeling better. But then the waves of anxiety and depression kept happening. My bloating was the largest I had ever seen, I constantly felt nauseous, couldn’t focus, really fatigued and full of brain fog.
I tried a SIBO diet based off of a loose recommendation to do so and relapsed hardcore in the midst, got a little hysterical looking for new practitioners to see, and calmed myself down when I found Gould’s Medicine in Tasmania, AUS. Dr. Hawrelak was at the forefront of digestive issues and specialized in treating bacterial imbalances in the gut. They did Skype calls for appointments abroad, and although Dr. Hawrelak was booked for two years with appointments (like I said, he is really amazing) he had a mentorship program of a few doctors below him who were taking appointments sooner. I jumped at one with Dr. Jessica Bush for mid June and just hung on tight, in pain.
Meanwhile, I had read a random health forum online of women saying they had experienced strong waves of anxiety and depression when taking Vitex (Chaste Tree). This was something I had started taking at the same time as my thyroid medication a year before for my hormones. I was floored, it didn’t say it was a side effect anywhere else I searched for online. I stopped taking it to see what happened, and the anxiety and depression ceased. Drops mic.
Picks mic back up. I shared this with my naturopath, and seeing as my t4/t3 levels plummeted, my energy had dropped, and my weight increased since going off the thyroid medication, we decided to give it another try. Thyroid levels increased when I went back on the medication, some of my fatigue went away, and (yep) zero unnatural waves of anxiety or depression. Sigh. Dang Vitex. That was a long year.
June 2019 - February 2020
My appointment with Dr. Jessica Bush at Gould’s went really well. She was the most kind, considerate, and knowledgeable doctor. She had me take a specific stool test before we met for our first appointment, which showcased some serious disbyosis in my microbiome. A handful of very important species of bacteria were at levels so low they were undetectable. These species were responsible for gut transit time (I was constipated), cell wall integrity (I had intestinal permeability), nutrient absorption (I was struggling with vitamin D, iodine, and iron), metabolism, cognition, inflammatory response, and immunity. True sources of my suffering. We decided these bacteria were most likely wiped out after my last round of antibiotics I had taken five and a half years prior, about six months before my health began to decline.
On top of lacking these wonderful species of bacteria, certain species that can be more harmful and cause inflammation weren’t being kept in check. Their numbers were too high and therefore exacerbating my symptoms. The most encouraging part about this was the food frequency sheet and food diary she had me keep. After reviewing both of these for me, she responded, “wow, your diet is amazing.” This wasn’t something I was use to hearing, or actually had ever heard, from a doctor. Being whole food plant based hasn’t gotten me the most enthusiastic response from practitioners over the years. Some are more middle of the road, while others have told me I need to change in various ways. It’s been tough, but hearing from someone I really trusted say this meant the world.
She had me continue eating a varied, whole food, plant based diet with emphasis on certain foods to boost the microbes that needed extra food. But on top of this, she had me start on some very simple and heavily studied supplements to help correct the disbyosis faster. My diet could maybe do it eventually, but how long is eventually? In order to feel better and heal sooner sometimes extra help is needed. I needed a lot of help.
I couldn’t afford, or get ahold of, the remaining tests she had wanted me to do—but she kindly worked with me still to move forward and see how I felt on a regimen that would heal the intestinal permeability and correct my disbyosis. It was the first week of October by the time we got to this point, and after a month I was already noticing considerable improvements. The following month I had my blood work retested and my vitamin D levels were in the middle of the healthy range. This hadn’t been possible for several years, even with mega dosing. My iron and iodine were finally in the healthy range too. This was a clear confirmation of the healing taking place in my gut and the importance of our microbiome’s health — I was absorbing!
I started noticing more pain and bloating returning come December, but took it as just a normal bump in the road. Healing isn’t linear and I kept doing what Dr. Bush prescribed. Come January my gut was still in the process of healing and my thyroid levels were normal with the help of medication, but I was getting worried about my continual low hormones and long cycles. Something I haven’t dived into here yet in this post or my previous one is fertility and our battle with it over the past 5 years. I’m going to postpone this subject for a little while, but I will share what I decided to do next.
I had heard from a few people about how incredible acupuncture is for pregnancy, and how seeking acupuncturists who specialize in this can be really fruitful. I did some research and found a facility I gravitated toward immediately. It was the first one I came to on my search and they were faith based (Scott and I are Christians). Also, they were down the street from our home, in our price range, had thousands of testimonials like mine and many that were even more complex, and they offered a free consultation to talk with the head doctor. I was nervous, this was such a sensitive area for me (fertility). I wan’t to do what was best and couldn’t deny this pinprick in the back of my mind that this was something I needed to do and that I had found the place.
I made the appointment for the next day. The doctor (head acupuncturist who leads a small team there at the clinic) spoke to me with such a humble confidence. It wasn’t “if” you get pregnant, it was “when” you get pregnant, when he spoke with me. It wasn’t “lets try” it was “it will take at least x amount of sessions to achieve this” and so on, I was nervous, but comforted too.
I scheduled a few appointments the following week before leaving and spoke with Scott that evening. He said if we do it, we go all-in. So I went to the appointments, they were above and beyond what I was expecting to experience, and we went all-in. I was to go in for treatment three times a week for the foreseeable future.
March 2020 - June 2020
What I love most about acupuncture is that it isn’t about treating a single issue, it is about getting the entire body back into balance, ie. treating all of the issues. There wasn’t a treatment for my hormones which didn’t include my thyroid, intestines, liver, kidneys, sleep struggles, etc. I would watch as they worked so quickly and spoke in a code I didn’t understand, it was pretty mesmerizing.
They would speak to me about getting my cycle shorter and hormones balanced while referring to a point for my liver that was on my foot (I could have got the specifics there wrong, but you get the gist). The rooms were calming and comforting, the doctor and his team were kind and direct and quick. At first it felt like a bit of a whirlwind going in and out of their office so many times a week, but eventually I got use to the new routine.
The first few weeks I felt really weak and tired. I slept most of the day and more of the night too (my insomnia usually had me up at around 2am for the day, but now I was sleeping till 4am, some days even 5am). After the heaviness of the beginning of treatment passed I began to see some improvements. The first was with my cycle. My follicular phase is typically too long. I bleed normally but then take a really long time to ovulate. I would sit in this pre-ovulatory phase for sometimes up to 35 days (pushing my cycle from 40 to 55 days at times in total length). During my second cycle under their treatment my follicular phase had shortened by two weeks! I was on a 37 to 38 day cycle, verses a 47 to 50, for the first time since getting my cycle back 15 months previously (or really in my life, ever).
They were really working on my sleep too, asking about it every day and making adjustments. I started at first to have a few days of insomnia a week and a few days of solid sleep, then it progressed into all of the days sleeping more solidly with a few awakenings during the night. I didn’t mind, as long as I would fall back asleep, I could wake up all night. It had been a long few years of having to sit on the couch in the dark waiting for the sun to rise so I could start the day and feel normal. Now I was waking with the sun and it had a huge impact on my mood and energy. So grateful!
My digestion was trickier, as it always has been. I would have days where I would feel amazing, and others where my symptoms were the worst. I went through bouts of nausea, more constipation, less constipation, increased bloating, decreased bloating, middle back pain, headaches, sore throat from acid reflux. You name it, I rotated through it consistently. It was the only consistent thing about my digestive issues.
I had increased dosages and added in another supplement due to Dr. Bush’s recommendations, but my symptoms were still up and down. The hardest part was when I would feel better for a week and then would relapse really hard. I would cry in agony wishing I could just feel normal and that things would just work and stay working. Between the struggle to fall pregnant and relapses of all other ailments, I felt as if I was carrying around a body so heavy with emotions it was a miracle I didn’t fall through a hole in the floor.
To keep speaking here without mention of my faith would be to skip a significant section of the story. So if you don’t mind me confiding, I’d love to share with you. My faith in Jesus, reading the bible, and prayer is what sustained me through this time. I am forever grateful for our church, my husband, crying on my knees to God, and reading His words of comfort. It was his love and strength I depended on (and depend on always) to help me endure what was some of the deepest pain and loneliness I had ever experienced.
July 2020 - Now
I finally surrendered all of my healing this month to faith. A calm came over me that I hadn’t experienced as of yet, at least not continually. I trusted that there was a day and time where all things would come together for good in my body for healing and that I needed to believe and move forward with less fear and more confidence. I had tried this before, spoke these words many times, but had always slipped back into panicking. I prayed this strength would stay.
I saw small improvements with my various ailments, while other slipped backwards at times. Thankfully my thyroid levels were healthy and stable due to the correct dosing of medication, and my nutrient levels were healthy too. I was absorbing, things were finding balance and healing inside of me in small ways, but I was in pain digestively and struggling with consistently good sleep. I was still on the journey and that is okay. As long as I kept showing up I knew it wasn’t a question of if I would heal, it was a question of when.
Scott and I went on a camping trip to the Big Sur area in August. My period was suppose to start at the end of the week when we returned. A day went by, no period. Two days went by, still no period. I knew Monday morning was when I should take a pregnancy test, I had this feeling to wait until then.
I woke up at 4am ready to test and prayed God I’m not asking for pregnancy, I’m asking you to prepare me for your answer to pregnancy right now. I know you’ve already decided when our baby will be conceived and born, help me to be strong if now is not that time. The first line showed up on the test. I prayed again, closed my eyes, opened them again and saw the second line begin to appear (two lines meant pregnant). I was in disbelief... I looked up and asked if it was true, if it was safe for me to believe it, I knew I needed to guard my heart. I spent the next four hours waiting to wake Scott up. I made breakfast, went for a walk, all the while thinking this feels so strange to do normal things when something very not normal might have just happened to me.
I woke Scott and while he was still groggy I sat next to him and the words stumbled out of my mouth that I was pregnant. His eyes opened real quick, he had the same look I had on my face when I read the test too. I told him if he felt shocked and emotionless that it was totally okay, I felt the same. We sort of smiled and laughed at each other, hugging and barely blinking or saying a word. I knew he didn’t know if it was safe to feel excited yet either.
Eventually over the next few weeks as we told my doctors and had bloodwork done, we started to ease into celebrating the news :). The blood results showed super high hormone levels, a healthy thyroid, and plenty of nutrients — my body was working. There was a baby! This helped give us a boost of confidence — as did the morning sickness when it arrived at the end of week five. Oh boy did that make it real!
So here we are, 13 weeks pregnant and overjoyed. Friends, we are having a baby! I cannot believe I was able to write these words. To be honest, it still doesn’t feel completely real, and I think we are still warming up to the reality. If I’ve learned anything during these years of health issues it is that things can be very messy along the way to healing, to any degree. Not everything gets healed up at once together, there will be wins alongside losses.
To say the past six years have been filled with hardships we didn’t feel prepared for would be true, but to say that life has blessed us beyond belief with our relationships, home life, community, faith, travel, life experiences, and joy during this time would also be true. Life is messy, health can be messy, and we as humans are certainly messy. But there is beauty and strength and joy in the mess.
My health story doesn’t end here. We have months of uncharted pregnancy territory ahead of us (very excited and simultaneously nervous for this) and to wait to see how things go with my unsolved ailments after birth too. But one thing is for sure, I couldn’t feel more in love with the little soul in my womb :) and feel like after growing and birthing a new life — I can take on anything.
To those reading this who have struggled with fertility issues and are going through them currently, please know my heart pours out all of the love and compassion possible for you. Your deep feelings are so very valid and you are not alone. I pray that you stay resilient and full of hope.
Sending love and lots of excitement from our growing family to yours :) come at me second trimester, I’m ready for you.
x Jessie
Our first scan at eight and a half weeks along :).