Pregnancy: My Experience
Intro
I wanted to start this post first by saying how incredibly privileged I feel to have experienced pregnancy. To all who are trying to do so, possibly even struggling, my heart goes out to you and I send up prayers for you that you remain encouraged and full of faith. It is no easy task maneuvering fertility challenges and I am still in a bit of shock that I am getting to share my experience here. As a little diary for myself, and an encouragement to others going through pregnancy too, here are my recorded memories from each trimester. (For more on my health journey, see posts part one and part two.)
The First Trimester
There are such a diverse amount of experiences to be had during this very crazy time when you’re building a new human! It is really important to know that every pregnancy is unique and just because one person has a set of symptoms, does not mean you will too. Here is just what I went through during my first pregnancy. Maybe some of you will relate and it will help soothe your “am I dying?” feelings that may be rattling around your brain during those first twelve weeks. I had them, and I lived, although I didn’t believe I would at times — haha.
Having read about and followed many different women through their pregnancy experiences, I thought I had a real grasp on what the first trimester would feel like. Especially with my history of chronic digestive issues and pain, I figured I was a seasoned veteran in handling major nausea swings and food sensitivities—I could not have been more wrong. The first trimester caught me by extreme surprise.
During week five is when some smell aversions crept in and certain foods I was use to eating regularly started to nauseate me. I could feel strong hunger swings and cravings for different foods beginning as well. Week six is when the morning sickness showed up fully. I was in bed sick all day every day the entire week! It came out of no where and by the end of the week I broke down in tears, balling my eyes out to Scott about how I didn’t know how I was going to get through this for another (potentially) 6 weeks! I had heard of some women experiencing this their entire pregnancy, which got me a little freaked.
However, after a good cry I was able to move on, pick myself up, and tell myself to get it together. From here on out everything was going to change. I knew I needed to surrender to whatever this new life entailed. Easier said than done, but things got better coping-wise after this talk with myself.
If I had been working a full time job I would have by this point had to take a leave of absence without a doubt. I was in bed or on the couch every day, all day. Unable to barely walk around the house, let alone leave it or attempt any exercise. Scott would bring me ginger tea, I would slip in and out of sleeping all afternoon, and ate mostly bread, pasta, and cereal. The evenings before bed were some of the worst bouts of nausea I experienced, sometimes keeping me up all night without a reprieve.
Small frequent meals? Was doing it. Drinking water with lots of ginger and sometimes peppermint? Tried it. B6 and K2 supplementation? Yes, tons. Focus on quick digesting foods, eating simple carbs, but not too simple, make sure your blood sugar is steady, have snacks by the bed, eat upon waking, etc. All of the beautiful, well-intentioned advice I was either given or researched, I tried, and felt no relief. I was even being treated by my acupuncturist three times a week! Everyone responds to these things differently, so definitely give them a try if you’re suffering through morning sickness. But after a few weeks I gave in and stopped trying all-the-things and just focused on surviving.
A piece of silver lining during this time was how I felt extremely comforted by Scott’s presence. Since his office is in our bedroom, I would be able to lay on our bed near him all day. Even if I was super sick and zonked out most of the time, I loved how “together” we were constantly. I also loved the releasing of responsibility. Scott had to do nearly everything for me and our home. Cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking—he did it all with such grace and I still get teary thinking of all the ways he served me while working through an incredibly busy season of work. He was an angel.
Emotionally, this wasn’t my favorite stretch of pregnancy, because I felt truly “flat”. With almost zero highs or lows, I was a bit sedated and didn’t get to experience the immense joy I knew I had inside about pregnancy until this trimester passed. It was a benefit for Scott though, which I’m grateful for, because I was a pretty steady person to interact with most of the time. That changed second and third trimester though! Haha.
Coming out of my first trimester at fourteen weeks my symptoms had eased to about half their initial intensity. More energy was pulsing through my body for sure, but a lot of nausea and foods aversions were still present. It definitely didn’t disappear overnight for me, but was more of a slow crawl towards the light ;).
The Second Trimester
Between weeks 16 ad 20 I began to feel more like myself, which meant eating more plant foods without feeling nauseous and having more energy for my weekly workouts and daily walks (yay!). I started to sleep a bit better but my goodness did those pregnancy hormones come in strong. I was feeling elated and happy to be pregnant, finally, but very sensitive and easily overwhelmed. I had lots of deep thoughts and feelings and they lead to so many wonderful talks between Scott and I — really a little blessing in disguise, most of the time.
By week 24 I was finally able to drink liquid upon waking without throwing up — something I had been struggling with since week 6! This was very exciting, especially since I have to take thyroid medication when I wake up and wait 30 to 60 minutes before eating. It was tough before this point, sitting and waiting to eat something to suppress the nausea, but by now it was so much better—ah, very grateful.
My favorite things about the second trimester, aside from getting to feel the baby start to kick tons, was how my love for Scott and the baby seemed to grow exponentially every day—and I already love these two more than I thought was possible. It made it so I could barely hold in tears of joy whenever I so much as saw Scott’s face. I’ve never felt so close and connected to him. It was, and still is, so wonderful. I feel as if my heart grew a few sizes this trimester :).
By the end, between weeks 26 and 28, my belly went through a big growth spurt and my hunger was really next level. Heading into the third trimester was such an exciting time. It really felt like the final stretch and all of the common pregnancy things started happening. Such as poor sleep with lots of baby kicks during the night, a little lower back pain, shrinking stomach room (smaller meals more often), feeling like I have a watermelon on the front of me, peeing 30 times a day, and a few other little things. Nothing was too bad whatsoever, considering I was literally growing and forming a new human inside of me, I felt like I had it pretty easy!
The Third Trimester
This was the most exiting and special-feeling time, I loved the third trimester! I was able to start thinking about all the last baby things to get together, my birthing kit essentials for my midwife and our home birth, postpartum healing things, watching lots of labor prep videos, and beginning my meal prepping for after birth too. Then, when full term was near, really was able to relax and savor the last of some very special moments with my sweet husband.
A few symptoms this trimester were tiredness (the baby was putting on lots of fat during these precious weeks, meaning lots of naps for me), still some really fun hormonal waves to ride out with Scott (we got a lot better at these by the end, I am so grateful for my kind, loving husband for being incredibly patient with me), a new-to-me thing called “lightening crotch” (look it up, pretty good description of how it feels, haha), and a general feeling of discomfort — as if my belly was stretching so much it was going to pop (a bit dramatic, but it really did feel that way at times).
However, the positive outweighed the negative, every day, with ease. I’ve never felt more honored, grateful, and in awe of what was possible in life than I was during the trimester. I would get teary over excitement to meet this little human in me so soon. I would get teary over the looming end of pregnancy so soon. I would get teary over how much I loved Scott and how grateful I was for him every day. I would get teary over imagining him as a dad, over the end of our twelve years just the two of us, over excitement to have it be three of us so soon. I was teary the majority of this trimester, but they were positive, blessed, happy tears. Tears of privilege to get to experience what I was experience so deeply.
My belly filled out properly during this time as well and our neighbors began to stop me to congratulate us and share in our excitement. Having a baby seems to make everyone around you happier, I loved seeing all of these new smiles! During this time I was connecting more to this special experience than any time before. Looking down at my body like a kangaroo with a little human sticking out the front, it was hard to believe I was doing this most days, and I would get weepy when I would sit in the realization that it really was happening (see, more tears).
Having spent five years wondering if I was going to be able to conceive naturally, if my body would heal, how it would ever fall pregnant—nine months pregnant can go by pretty quickly. Especially when I didn’t truly feel pregnant until the third trimester. These last few months were ones I will cherish and remember forever. I loved carrying this special little angel inside of me, every day. Even if it was uncomfortable at times—it was my greatest joy. Coming to the end and making it full term I found I was able to combat the anxiousness of when they would arrive with the deep desire to not miss one moment of getting to hold them inside of me.
I sat in an acupuncture appointment towards the end with tears running down my face, soaking my mask for the twenty minutes I was sitting in the room alone. Feeling the baby kick inside of me, talking to them inside of my head, and realizing that I soon wouldn’t be able to talk to them this way. Just inside of me, just the two of us. I would ask them what they would like for lunch, talk through our options, and pretend their little wiggles were somehow communicating back to me. I never want to forget those moments and began missing them before they had gone.
I cannot wait to shower you with love, little one, face to face—and to learn all that you have to teach me, which has already been so much. Thank you for allowing me to carry you, and for waiting for me all these years. (More tears.)
The last few weeks, especially the five days I was late past my due date, were some of the sweetest Scott and I have ever spent together. Here is to our twelve years of just you and I, my best friend in the world. You’re going to make (and now already are) the best dad. We are two lucky girls.
Birth:
I’m going to save our birth story for a separate post, which will include our preparation for it too. But below are some links and resources of what I found helpful during pregnancy. In case it could benefit any other pregnant mamas out there as well. Thank you for being here with me and celebrating this little life along the way. I’m praying for all of you currently carrying, birthing, or trying to conceive in hopes of experiencing this one day. Keep holding tightly to faith and never, ever give up. x
Resources/Links:
My workout regimen for pregnancy was following the pregnancy workout guide by Expecting and Empowered. They are amazing and these workouts kept me feeling strong my entire pregnancy (and for labor too). They also have a guide for postpartum! (Currently you can use my code JESSIEMAY10 for $10 off any workout plan you choose.)
A few favorite resources were labor prep YouTube videos by Bridget who is a certified doula and childbirth educator, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (book), How Children Learn (book), and of course my midwife, Tessa, of Abundant Blessings Midwifery. (For my Christian moms out there too, the book Praying Through Pregnancy was incredible.) For nutritional guidance, there is a pregnancy section in one of my favorite nutrition books, Becoming Vegan, that covers it all very simply. I didn’t struggle with plant based nutrition one bit, it was really very simple!
My pregnancy wardrobe was very easy going. I began with two sets of pregnancy leggings and a pair of stretchy overalls by the brand Storq, which I wore with loose, cropped sweatshirts and tees that I already owned through the fall and winter for my first and second trimester. Then I purchased a few tank dresses and a button down oversized sweater from OlliElla to wear through my third trimester (as well as their nursing bra, which is incredible, I highly recommend.) These I could all wear during nursing and beyond, they aren’t just pregnancy clothes! Which I was very adamant on during my search. For underwear I used what I had for as long as I could, then purchased a few crop tanks and pairs of high rise underwear in a larger size (to fit my growing tummy) from ARQ. I have never felt more comfortable in underwear before! Loved these immensely. Great for postpartum too.
Two podcasts I especially enjoyed were Deliciously Ella’s birth story and the interview of Whitney English on the Plant Proof Podcast. (There is a follow up with Whitney and her partner of PBJ I still need to listen to but sounds wonderful here.)
There are so many details and things I’m sure I left out in this post, feel free to drop any questions you might have in the comments below, I’d love to talk with you!
