Riley's First Birthday
Words cannot describe how unreal it feels to experience our baby girl turning one! It was an emotional milestone for Scott and I, in the sweetest way. Funnily enough I did pretty well on her actual birthday, it was the day of her party I felt the most emotionally wobbly. Even though I did have a good cry (or a few) on both days! The first year with a baby is a whirlwind and so much happens with their development as well as our own as parents, sometimes time doesn’t feel like a tangible, measurable element. Then something like a birthday happens and it really puts what we’ve just gone through into perspective. It actually was measurable, I can suddenly say a year ago today Riley entered the world, and we met (!).
As I’m sure most parents can say, the first year can be blurry and incredible tough. I’ll share a little more of our experience below but lets cover her sweet party first! We kept it small and simple and had both sets of our parents, her grandparents, over for the afternoon. We set up a bubble machine, a few balloons, a little food and drink area, and hung out either in the grass or under some umbrellas with blankets and beach chairs. It was super chill and magical. A bubble machine really works wonders!
For the food I made a simple veggie sandwich with sunflower seed aioli (recipe coming here to the website in hopefully a week or two), a bowl of fresh spring berries, and the lemon berry muffins from my Spring & Summer ebook — which I also shared on my site here too! I sliced Riley’s muffin in half and layered with a simple maple and vanilla sweetened coconut yogurt. She enjoyed it but of course wanted avocado and berries on the side before and after. I didn’t want to burden my very busy mind around this time with too complicated of recipes, these worked really nicely and went well with the homemade peppermint iced tea and coffee offerings.
Riley loved having her grandparents over. She reached a stage recently where she just wants to be around other people and play play play. The greatest gift for her was their presence, which is why we did a present-free party. We did hand out questionnaires beforehand for everyone to fill out to be placed in a time capsule for her to open on her 18th birthday. Little notes talking about her now and what each family member wished for her in the future to come. I’m really excited about this small touch and think she will be pretty jazzed to read these letters come her 18th birthday!
Parenthood did not come naturally to Scott and I, despite yearning to be parents for years as we battled my fertility issues. Most of our friends I talk to about having their first baby actually feel this way too. It’s easy to see others who thrive in the newborn phase and think that is how everyone is, but it isn’t true. Most of us are battling some sort of anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation, nursing struggles, or other bumps in the road. Every parent is different and every baby is different - comparison really does rob you of all joy! We were robbed at times through tough seasons but were also heavily blessed with the deepest love and devotion to our sweet girl.
Tuning out the noise, trusting your instincts, and leaning on others for help are really my greatest recommendations. Set Google aside, push through your fear of new experiences and how they might go with your baby, and honor what you need as an individual to thrive as a parent. We really must take care to recognize our needs — this was the toughest part for me, I didn’t want to have needs! I found them annoying and guilt inducing. I wanted to be everything for my little girl at all times. My hormones were high and I was incredibly sensitive! I still am to a degree, but to a much less detrimental one. I’m thankful beyond words for Scott and his patience with me and dedication to being the best most present dad for our girl. We are doing much better now and carve out space to take care of ourselves more and more.
The greatest struggle we had was sleep (hello most parents!) during our first year. We hired a sleep consultant around 5 months to help us and Riley and it changed our lives. That is a big statement I don’t mean to throw around lightly. We were struggling heavily with anxiety and depression from sleep deprivation and our bodies felt as if they were falling apart. Doing what we needed to in order to find sleep for us three was the most beneficial step we took in our first year, and it isn’t a one-and-done effort either. Each time Riley changes and grows we have to pivot and make adjustments for the health of our sleep. I highly recommend all expecting parents to learn more about baby sleep! We did nothing in the area of research and it was tough learning on the go while so very tired. (Nearly everyone I know recommends Taking Cara Babies!)
Of course this past year was full of the most heart meltingly joyful experiences too. Watching Riley crawl for the first time, seeing her smile, introducing her to food (!), holding her sweet sleepy body while we nurse at night, bending and twisting my reality every day to incorporate and rotate around this miraculous new being. I truly love how being a mom has stretched me to grow and learn. I’m a different person than I was this time a year ago, I like to think a much better one, and I cannot express my gratefulness for a chance to do this (!) especially alongside my best friend.
Love you Scotty. We did it — we kept a baby alive for a year and have such a full life, it brings me to tears! Hugs to all of you parents/caregivers out there who are raising/have raised little humans. What an epic path to life we are all walking!
